Living with herpes must be the worst experience in your life. On one hand, you have to accept different kinds of treatments without endless; on the other hand, you should pick the best time to tell your partner in the right way. If you choose the right time to tell your partner, you may have the last chance to redeem your love.
Just imagine how you want your partner to get the news. Do you want it to look like grievous news? Of course not, no one prefers the conversation like that. If you say, "dear, I have some grievous news for you and please prepare for it," your partner is likely to consider it as grievous news. So don't start your conversation in that way. Instead, be casual, unemotional and direct.
At this moment, it is not a good idea to ask their response about the news and don't tell them " I guess you are going to freak out when you hear this but don't scare." Your partner is definitely going to scare with this kind of attitude, even if they weren't.
Just directly tell your partner you have herpes and ask how much they know about it. Maybe they never hear about it or just know something from others. Therefore, be prepared to present the facts.
Before you begin the conservation, learn all about herpes so that you can answer any questions your partner may ask. Stress that it is very common in US and about 1 in 5 people are infected with herpes. That means there are currently over 51 million Americans with herpes with this very second. This statistic could be a relief to you. Carefully explain what it means to have it. Some people may get scores on their oral or genitals occasionally, but many others get symptoms so mild they don't even notice them. Besides, don't forget to give your partner some hope by comforting that herpes can be cured someday in the future and it is just a very simple "disease".
Apart from language, the setting can affect the result. Don't interrupt when your partner is working or doing some important things. Besides, don't just call them and say, " Hey, let's talk something."
There are many comfortable settings you can use. A conversation over a quiet dinner or a walk in the park is preferable. Don't mention it in a bowling alley or the supermarket because these places could really interrupt their focus or concentration.
The worst time to tell your partner that you have herpes other than after having sex is when you get ready for sex and your clothes are already off. It could really spoil the mood and annoy your partner.
Let the topic come up more naturally and smoothly, which could help with avoiding the news to turn into a bombshell. You could use the technique that we mentioned before and tell them the test results you got from your doctor. You can talk a little more about the words that your doctor told you. At this moment, they may believe doctors' words.
No matter how well you deliver the conversation, it's possible that your partner can't accept the news. If it happens in that way, be calm and give them some time to consider about it privately. It may not the first time you face trouble about love and if your relationship is valuable, it won't be the last time for you.